Claire Kraemer
Tavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York
Times, 10 Jan. 2015. Web. 11 Jan. 2015.
Using a tanning bed can come at a great risk, especially if you start using one while you’re young. This article makes readers aware that using a tanning bed, or even tanning without sunscreen can and while come at a great risk. The reason why a tanning bed is so attractive to young people is because of the quickness and cheapness of the bed. 20 minutes in a tanning bed costs $7 and gives you a tan that would take a few days lying out on the beach. Being tan is seen as a luxury and fashionable to most people, so being tan boosts most girls confidence in their looks. A girl named Madison said, “I’d love to stop tanning, but I can’t. Confidence is such a touchy aspect of a girl’s life. It takes a lot of time and practice. I’m just not there yet.” But the cons of being tan outweigh the pros. Melanoma, a form of skin cancer, is very popular in people who frequently use the tanning bed. If caught early, the cancer can be removed, but if not caught, the cancer can easily spread.
I think that this topic is very relevant to young girls today. If young adults learn at a young age the risks of skin cancer because of the obsessiveness over being tan, then they can hopefully make a smart decision later on about their skin. I personally think that being tan is very fashionable, and has a positive impact on people’s appearance, but now I realize that being tan isn’t worth getting cancer, or even dying. I disagree when Elizabeth LaBak states that “If I get skin cancer I’ll deal with it then. I can’t think about that now. I’m going to die of something.” If people keep on having this attitude about skin cancer, they will later regret it, because their carelessness can catch up with them.
Overall, I believe this article was organized and written very well. Sabrina Tavernise includes many quotes that show both sides, but in the end agree with the fact that skin cancer is something we should all be aware of. She also divides her article up into sections with interesting titles, making the reader wanting to read on about the topic. Tavernise introduces the topic with a story about a young girl casually going into a tanning bed after their SAT tutoring session, something she does periodically. The author draws the readers into the topic, and doesn’t let us trail off from it. She also places images that portray a story throughout the article.
Tavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/health/indoor-tanning-poses-cancer-risks-teenagers-learn.html?_r=0
I read Claire’s Review of an article about the dangers of tanning beds. In the review Claire did a great job of including quotes from the article. The quotes help to convey the point she was trying to make in her review. She also did a good job of writing a critique for the author. I feel that if the author read the critique they would know that she is doing a good job. This paragraph also makes the review reader want to read the actual article. Lastly, Claire did a wonderful job of organizing the review. The review was well thought out and you can tell that a great effort was made. The layout also helps the reader stay focused and interested because it is not a pain to read.
Claire could have improved her article by proof reading. I found a typo that made the review’s sentence confusing and I could not understand it the first time I read it. Another way to improve the article would be to add numerical statistics. If the article included how many people out of ten get skin cancer it would have been much more interesting.
I was really amazed that a tanning bed can give you cancer, but what I found more shocking is that people use it without concern and think that they will be ok. I learned that it is important to keep your friends from using the tanning bed.
I read Claire’s review on the danger of using a tanning bed particularly when starting at a young age. One thing I liked about Claire’s review was that she included people’s reactions to hearing the dangers of using the tanning bed. The opinions on the dangers helped me get a sense of how many people don’t care that the beds could give you cancer and continue to use them. I also liked how Claire specifically let the reader know what kind of cancer you can get from using the tanning bed and gave some facts on that type of cancer (Melanoma). I also admired that she explained why tanning beds are so appealing. She said that being tan is confidence that is hard to let go of. One aspect of the article I think could have been improved on would be to give examples of alternatives to tanning beds and also give information on how people can educate others so there is more awareness on the fact that the tanning bed is so bad. I also think that even more quotes could enhance the article. One quote that shocked me was when Elizabeth LaBak said, “If I get skin cancer I’ll deal with it then. I can’t think about that now. I’m going to die of something.” I think it is absurd that people would risk their life just to be tan. Overall, Claire’s summary was very informative and well written.
ReplyDeleteTavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York Times, 10 Jan. 2015. Web. 13 Jan. 2015.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the current events response by Claire Kraemer, I have a few thoughts about some things that were good and other things that needed work in her response. One thing that she did well was she provided many quotes and an explanation stating her thoughts about the quote. Including quotes can help the reader not only know what you think about the article, but also what the author thinks of the article. Another thing that I thought Claire did well was she gave a very good explanation of why she chose this article and how it’s important to us. Lastly, another thing Claire did well was she made her response sound good. She had correct punctuation, grammar, and she also made her response flow really well.
In Claire’s article, there were some things that could improve. For example, she could have added more statistics to the response. For example, providing a number of teenagers use tanning beds during the week, or month. Also another thing Claire could have done better was providing an introduction sentence or two. Providing a sentence or two could help the reader be pulled into the response and it could make the reader interested in reading the response. Otherwise, I think Claire did a very good job on her response.
One thing in Claire’s response that surprised me was how many people still continue to use the beds even when they know they can have the risk of getting cancer. For example, Elizabeth LaBak said that “If I get skin cancer I’ll deal with it then. I can’t think about that now. I’m going to die of something.” It really surprised me how careless people are about themselves. Before I read Claire’s current event response I didn't know lots of information that she provided. I really enjoyed reading Claire’s current event response.
-Ava Austi
Tavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York Times, 10 Jan. 2015. Web. 13 Jan. 2015.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/health/indoor-tanning-poses-cancer-risks-teenagers-learn.html?_r=0
I really enjoyed reading Claire Kraemer’s review of this article, and I liked learning about the harmful effects of tanning beds. There were many good aspects of Claire’s review, including the fact that she included a short, but very detailed summary that said all the things that needed to be said to give a quick overview of the article. In fact, I often have trouble summarizing articles in a short paragraph, because I think that every single detail in the article is important and must be included. Second, I like how Claire included a quote a expressing a first-hand experience of tanning, which shows not only a different opinion other than the author’s, but also talks about the difficulties people face when tanning. Lastly, I liked Claire’s relevance paragraph. It has yet another quote to prove her point further, and she also makes a great connection to the real world from her article: that people should be aware of the dangers of tanning and should try their best to avoid becoming fatally ill.
Despite this being a great review, there were a few places where I found errors that had a negative effect on the writing. First of all, I think Claire should have included more statistical facts like the amount of people using tanning beds right now, or even the amount of people that have already got cancer as a direct result of tanning in tanning beds. This could have helped the reader get a better idea of the risk that people that use tan are running by using the beds. Secondly, I did not really like Claire’s critique paragraph, because it didn’t cover both sides of the argument. I believe that people that review the article should introduce things they liked and disliked about the article, to really give the reader an idea of what the article was like, and whether they should read it or not.
Overall, however, Claire’s review was great, and I really enjoyed learning about the dangerous effects tanning beds could have, and what other everyday things people use could also be direct causes of terrible diseases such as cancer.
Claire Kraemer did a good job on her critique of the article. As a reader, I was really drawn in and I wanted to learn more about this subject. There are three aspects of her review that I thought had a positive influence on it. The first aspect of her article that I enjoyed is how she didn't start her review with "I read the article... by...". It was good that she didn't start that way because it allows the reader to be drawn into the review right away. I always prefer starting off strong. The second aspect of her review that I enjoyed is reading is the statistics that she included in her summary. This allows the reader to get a more clear understanding on how cheap it is to get a tan. It is only 7 dollars for 20 minutes. That is really not that expensive. This really explains why teenagers some teenagers often go to the tanning salon because of it's cheap price. And lastly, the final part of her critique that I liked, was the way she incorporated the quote of a teenage girl. This explains why tanning is so addicting to teenagers. Quotes help explain the reasons behind writing and this quote clearly explains why teenagers can't stop tanning.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Claire's article was pretty good overall, there are some parts that she could improve on. When she states the quote in the second paragraph, she could have explained who Elizabeth LaBak was. Just like she did for Madison's quote, she could have also incorporated that for Elizabeth's. I would have more clearly understood. Something else that she could improve on for next time, is to proof read her work. I found a few grammar and typo mistakes that made the critique a little confusing but at least it was only a few times here and there.
Overall I think that Claire did a very good job with her critique. I learned a lot from it. It shocked me that people don't care about themselves knowing that it is possible to get cancer from these machines. If I knew about how high the risk is of getting cancer, I would stop. I wouldn't want to risk my life for something that isn't the most important thing in the world. I could just wait for the summer until the warm weather and the sun comes back so I can tan and use sun screen.
I think that Claire was very successful in writing this review.
Tavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/health/indoor-tanning-poses-cancer-risks-teenagers-learn.html?_r=0
Tavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York
ReplyDeleteTimes, 10 Jan. 2015. Web. 11 Jan. 2015.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/health/indoor-tanning-poses-cancer-risks-teenagers-learn.html?_r=0
I read Claire Kraemer's review on "A Great Tan Comes with a Warning Sign" and one aspect I enjoyed was how she incorporated statistics into the review, such as a spray tan is 7 dollars for 20 minutes of tanning. Additionally, I liked how she used a direct quote from the article about how tanning affects confidence. Lastly, I was impressed by her critique of the author's writing, such as how she said the author did a good hooking the reader.
One component Claire could improve on is stating the risks of tanning beds, such as how the rays affect your body. Another component that she could fix is how she connected the topic to herself. She links it to young girls in general, but not to her own life very much.
What impressed me most was how girls become addicted to tanning because it aids their self-confidence, which is a scary fact.
Tavernise, Sabrina. "Warning: That Tan Could Be Hazardous." The New York Times. The New York Times, 10 Jan. 2015. Web. 11 Jan. 2015.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/health/indoor-tanning-poses-cancer-risks-teenagers-learn.html?_r=0
I read Claire Kraemer's review on "A Great Tan Comes with a Warning Sign" which gave me a deep perception on a dangers of tanning beds. One of the things I enjoyed most about Claire's review was how she included a quote separate from the article. This shows not only a different opinion other than the author’s, but also allows you to truly see the horror spray tans cause people. The second thing I enjoyed about her review was how she mentioned the extremely low prices when receiving a spray tan, at seven dollars for twenty minutes. This could help uncover some of the reasons teenagers are receiving cheap unhealthy spray tans. The thing I was most impressed with was how she was able to quickly and efficiently summarize the passage while making good arguments throughout and not writing about any unnecessary facts.
Claire made several amazing points throughout her review, yet there were a few things she could have done better. She could have talked more about the physical affects the rays have on your body, along with a few other risks regarding the use of tanning beds. Another possible thing that she could have changed in her paper would have been the few grammatical mistakes. Throughout the paper there were a few grammatical mistakes,that if fixed would have slightly boosted the quality of the paper.
What impressed yet scared me at the same time was how there were several cases of girls becoming addicted to spray tans. Spray tans are said to boost your self-esteem, but the fact alone of spray tans becoming addictive is frightening.